So Ugandan

I am on a maiden visit to some remote township,

And round the last bend on my way lies a construction site

It looks like a budding mall of sorts,

But it’s betrayed by a peculiar forecourt

I now ask my guide…

"It’s a Shell", he tells me. 

"A Shell for vehicles to do their refueling here".

I now take a close look at the spot

I can see a logo of a rival fuel company

It reads like "Engen"

My guide insists it’s Shell.

An idea soon springs to mind. The truth now dawns on me…

I am welcome to the Pearl of Africa!

It’s only in Uganda that every petrol station is called Shell,

And every toothpaste brand called Colgate

Change on service fares is rather called Balance

And beverage urns dubbed "Empty"

"Socks" has no singular form;

As is the case for Chips

Gone are the days when every cab driver was called Pilot,

And every President called Museveni,

Ugandans now know Obama…

My village folks think he’s a Mukiga,

As is the case with every black American

But they are only being Ugandan!

-     Dan B. Atuhaire