South Sudan is not a country that will have you drooling with
excitement every time it’s mentioned as one of your next possible destinations.
You will have read stories about all sorts of horrendous acts and gruesome
murders and kidnaps and you will wish the “South” is removed so you can at
least end up in Khartoum. Read More
Homonyms refer to sets of words having the same spelling but
different meanings (and origins). In many an African language, there exist
words that are either spelled or sound the same, but have different meanings. Read More
What would be your reaction if an acclaimed female artiste
registered interest to remix a song you only released a couple of months back?
Grant the request right away? Ask for payment of sorts? Snub the request? That
is the kind of question only Patoranking can answer best. Read More
I usually try to refrain from jumping onto bandwagon celebrations. But
for some reason, this fathers’ day appears to have gotten me thinking many
things. There are things we often take for granted. The provisions. The
guidance. Life's choices. And many others. Read More
2014 had me bear the ignominy of experiencing two winter seasons in
the same calendar year. The first was a chilly 30+ days in the Southern African
country of Malawi, starting from somewhere in the first week of June to a
couple weeks into July. The second was during a short stint in Scandinavia,
towards the turn of the year. Read More
I should have braced myself for a couple of more surprises from the
time I was received by a mini-convoy of two cars – one of them being a police
escort pickup – from the airport. Instead, Lagos continued to play hide and
seek with my expectations. Read More
Last Sunday found me in Lekki, a tiny peninsula that harbors a
collection of beaches and leisure centers in Southern Nigeria. I was checking
out a church a friend of mine had recommended. The Present House or TPH as it
is popularly called is a funky place of worship located a couple of kilometers
from the affluent Victoria Island, in Lagos. Read More
She may not be your obvious household name in Ugandan music. But
she has a couple of songs out –those I am aware of. Not many have even heard of
her. A Google search returned an uncoordinated set of results. Random names from
places as far-flung as India and Indonesia. It was at this point that I
realized I was on a wild goose chase. Read More
He ambles to the doorway, before slowly pausing a little. He gazes
at the car and waits for the door to open. He knows its Daddy’s car, but he is
not sure if the person at the steering wheel is daddy. He suddenly switches
into a faster walk - a mini sprint by his standards- to the car. He has
recognized the face. Daddy is back. Read More
Koffi Olomide will be in town this month for a number of charity
activities and a music concert. He will be the headlining artiste at a charity
concert organized by Rotary Uganda. Here’s a few facts about the singer. Read More
Exactly 35 Years ago, Ugandan President Idi Amin Dada was
overthrown by a combined force of Tanzania People's Defense Forces and Ugandan
Exiles. It put an end to 8 Years of a turbulent reign in Uganda's Politics. It
was not without its humorous moments and memorable quotes. Read More!
Bebe Cool recently brewed a social media storm when he called upon
Ugandan music lovers to shun DJs who give preference to foreign music. Sucked into
this debate were two prominent figures –James Onen aka Fatboy, a former radio
PD and current morning show co-host at Sanyu Fm, and DJ Beekay, a former Sanyu
FM employee, now plying his trade at the Vision group-owned X Fm. Read More
23 Jan 2014. Location: Limbe, A suburb of Blantyre City (Malawi).
For close to 5 Months, I lived in this part of town that does not look remote
at a glance, though it rather comes off as old-school in almost every aspect.
Limbe literally shuts down by 6pm. There’s a few taxis still plying their
trade, but they hardly stop by. It’s like a transit route to other
destinations. Read More
I must admit I had no idea who she was until news of her making it
to the finals went viral. I remember bumping into some random radio station in
Malawi. This presenter was discussing the three finalists for Africa’s next top
model, a competition organized by Nigerian Stella Oluchi, a former model
herself. Read More
In December 2013, NTV celebrated 7 seven years since they announced
their entry into the Ugandan television industry. It’s been 7 years of quality
work. 7 years of a revolution that has seen an overall increase in dynamism and
creativity in the industry Read More
They are commonly referred to as the big three; Bobi Wine, Bebe
Cool and Jose Chameleone in no particular order. They represent a breed of
musicians that have revolutionized the face of Ugandan music over the past
10-15 years. They revitalized the average Ugandan’s interest in local music. Read More
You could call me pessimistic. Or backward. Or
unappreciative. Or all the three. But finding an air conditioned bus on an
African road was the last thing I ever imagined. It was one of those days when
you get on a journey and all you wish for is to fall into some deep, long
slumber, and only wake up to the sight of your destination’s signpost. Read More
He breathed his last on November 30, 2013. He was 73 or 76,
depending on which source you read. Born Pascal-Emmanuel Sinamoyi Tabu, he
would later go by Tabu Ley Rochereau, following then President Mobutu Sese
Seko’s Authenticité reforms in the late 1960’s that were aimed at
ridding the country of any lingering traces of colonialism and the continuing
influence of Western culture. Read More
This Saturday, the 26th October 2013, marks exactly 7
months and 10 days since the two teams last had joint merry. We are talking
Customer Service & IT, here. It was fun, then. We all got to enjoy
ourselves. News filtering in suggests tomorrow will be a reloaded version of the
same. Yours truly will not be able to make it. The account below is only a
figment of my imagination, Read More
It still feels like yesterday. A morning of anticipation. A
twilight of bliss. A thrilling experience. It was an absolute peach, the latter
portion of 16 March, 2013. The morning had been uncharacteristically quiet. The
parking lot still looked a little deserted by the set departure time-10:00am,
save for a lone coaster omnibus at the extreme right end of the airtel house
forecourt. On ground floor, Read More
03rd October, 2009. My face gradually turned sombre as I yearned
for my first public holiday in a long time. Our brothers in Islam had been
fasting and all signs seemed to point to Monday as a potential public
holiday-in-waiting. It was a cold Saturday evening at the beach-side, and time
check was 19:59 when my phone buzzed with an incoming message. "Idd is
tomorrow", it read in part. Read More
My search for conducive neighbourhood eventually led me to
Kiwatule, and made me think I had finally got a place to call home-at least for
the following few years or so… The next-door residents-my new neighbours, were
very amiable folks, and those that I can comfortably rely on to kill off a
boring weekend, if they happen to stay around. Read More
Attending my first assembly at Ntare, I overheard a colleague
mumble something -in a hushed tone- that went like: “Guys, Kamu is around”. For
a moment, I did not understand what a certain Kamu had to do with a Monday
morning school gathering. I was not to wait for long. Read More
One of the first truisms I learned in high school hinted at change
being a fact of life. I guess everyone would really wish a change for the
better. It’s a fact that I came to appreciate when my change of profile from
student dictated that I had to start living in the environs of working class
mortals. The kind of environment that makes you forget that words like
coursework and others of the ilk were once part of your regular vocabulary. Read More
I was once made to dump the first lump of earth into an open grave
at a function that all had gathered at, seeing off my grandfather. The old man
had been suffering from a combination of old-age related illnesses and a bout
of malaria, and had breathed his last a couple of days before. It was a
cultural obligation for me, being his eldest grandson… I was meant to
"bury him". Read More
Every once in a while, people around us will behave, or do certain
acts that may rub us the wrong way. While some are inadvertent, others are
premeditated. While we tend to ignore some, others are simply too irritating to
let pass. Some of these are people often ingratiate with. Some are our bosom
buddies. Others are celebs. Read More
Boredom can breed lots of ideas. Sometimes I want to grab a shot of
nearby ale, but then I remember I am now a teetotaler. Often times, I just
decide to laze around. Once in a while, idle thoughts fly by. This, here, was
one of them: Monikers we would wish to give the public figures we love to hate. Read More
